By
Bob and Dannah Gresh
Too many Christian
guys just don’t understand sex — and end up misusing this
awesome gift from God. Some teens say things like, "Why wait?"
What’s more, the world
is eager to send you sexual messages: "It’s just an act of
fun so why miss the party?" and "If you’re not actually doing
it, what’s the big deal about playing around?" and "Everyone
else looks at porn; why shouldn’t you?"
The messages scream
loudly at us. It’s hard to find a good reason to wait, not
only for sex itself, but to be exposed to visual images about
sex.
We are going deep now.
We’re going to define sex according to God’s Word. We don’t
know how to make this effective in your mind because there’s
so much that distorts this truth, but we’ll trust God to do
that. It would help if you took a moment to unclutter your
mind by asking God to prepare it for this truth.
A Covenant With God
To understand sex, you
must understand the concept of covenant. Do you know what
a covenant is? It’s not a contract. It’s not an agreement.
A covenant is so much more honorable. Often when God does
something significant in Scripture, He presents it as a covenant.
A biblical covenant can be recognized by the fact that the
lesser party (that’s us) who enters into the covenant according
to the conditions of the greater party (that’s God) receives
blessings for obeying. For example, if Abraham entered into
the covenant of circumcision (ouch), then God would make his
children like the stars of the universe. If we embrace the
blood of Jesus’ covenant on the cross, then we will have eternal
life.
Sex is a covenant, too.
If we enjoy sex according to God’s plan, three specific blessings
will follow.
BENEFIT NO. 1: Sex
Is a Spiritual Portrait that Enhances Intimacy
Sex is not just
physical. It is very emotional, very spiritual. When two people
who have never had sex enter into the marriage covenant .
. . no one else is in that place they go to. No one else knows
that person so well, not just physically, but emotionally
and spiritually. The result is an intimacy that is far more
than just physical.
Ephesians 5:31–32 says,
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother
and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.
This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and
the church.
Whoa! One second Paul
is taking about sex and the next about the great mysterious
relationship between Christ and the church? Yes!
The intimacy of sex
is so intense that it is compared to the unfathomable love
of Christ for His church. This is significant. You see, for
every great spiritual truth, God’s Word offers us a physical
example of it on earth. Guess what? Sex is the great
physical example of Christ’s intense love for us!
What motivation for
Satan to distort this truth in your life! How he wants you
to water down the intensity of sex so you cannot understand
the passion Christ has for you! How he seeks to make your
parents’ marriage a broken example of this powerful portrait!
How he wants to ruin this gift for you.
Don’t let him. Stand
strong. Protect the truth.
You may be saying, Okay,
all that heavenly stuff is great, and it’s very eye-opening
and a little motivating, but I’ve got to live with these physical
desires here on earth. Hang in there. God’s got that under
control. Let’s just see how He brings the great gift of sexuality
down to earth.
BENEFIT NO. 2:Sex
Creates Life
Genesis 1:28 issues
an early command for us to populate the earth . . . to make
babies! Imagine, God not only lets us have sex, He commands
married couples to have sex. Wow! That’s the first blessing
of sexuality that Scripture addresses.
The incredible gift
of creating life is the most God-like thing we can do. Certainly,
it’s been done outside of marriage time and time again. But
the gift is so amazing, it deserves to be unmarred and undistracted
by bad timing. If we wait to have sex until we are married,
then we make babies with great celebration.
BENEFIT NO. 3: Sex
Is Absolute Pleasure
If women get the last
blessing, men get this one. That’s why it can be so hard to
wait — being wired to be visually stimulated and to initiate
sex, knowing how fun and fantastic it can be.
Proverbs 5:18-19 says,
May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the
wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer — may her
breasts satisfy you always, may you be ever captivated by
her love!
If you translated that
verse more accurately from the original Hebrew text, that
last phrase, "may you be ever captivated by her love" would
read, "may you be intoxicated by her sex." Get the
picture, guys? She is so fantastic. The experience is so fantastic
that you are intoxicated by nothing but the thought of sex
with her. Wow!
This is a good time
to bring up something. Sex is fun, so why does God
withhold it from us?
In the book of Deuteronomy,
God says basically that He knows we are going to wonder why
He has placed guidelines for living upon us. He doesn’t want
us to wonder what they are all about, so He says right out
that the purpose of them is to make us "prosper." He want’s
us to prosper . . . that includes sexually. He doesn’t ask
us to wait to have sex to torture us. He knows that if we
wait, it will be far more fantastic.
Social science proves
this today. In the landmark study of sexuality entitled Sex
in America, the authors concluded that "people who reported
being the most physically pleased and emotionally satisfied
[with sex] were the married couples." They also reported that
"the lowest rates of satisfaction were among men and woman
who were neither married nor living with someone—the very
group[s] thought to be having the hottest sex." Furthermore,
"physical and emotional satisfaction started to decline when
people had more than one sexual partner." Science today proves
what God said hundreds of years ago: When we wait to have
sex with one woman, it is more fantastic!
Sometimes Satan tries
to make us feel like we are missing the party by waiting to
have sex. It’s not true. The world’s message of abstinence
might feel as if it’s about not having sex. God’s request
for purity is about waiting to have it right. It’s about going
to the big party. It’s about having total, free and fun sex
because it is blessed by God.
Sex outside of marriage
is a substitute for the real depth of pleasure that can be
experienced when sex is protected.
God wants you to have
a fantastic, fun sexual relationship that’s more than you
can even imagine. Don’t miss out on the fun by settling for
a substitute.
If we wait to have
sex, then it is a blast!
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