Challenge Me to Greatness: Valuing those in our lives that push us outside of our comfort zone


Challenge Me to Greatness: Valuing those in our lives that push us outside of our comfort zone

[This article is part of the ‘Honor Parents, Value Soulmate’ series. View other parts of this series here.]

God is our amazing loving father and he will try bring people across our paths to help us deal with and heal the (earthly) father or mother wounds, rebellion or selfishness in our lives.

I love what Derek Prince said:

“God doesn’t just write things on pages. He puts truth in persons.”

Most of the time God uses those people closest to us, our parents, brothers, sisters, friends, husbands, wife, boyfriends and girlfriends to address the issues of our hearts.

In the book, ‘Always Daddy’s Girl’ H. Norman Wright says:

“The first step in releasing the past is to become aware of the problems which still exist. Identify what it is from your past that still bothers you, affects you, influences you, or hinders you” [9]

I think God often uses people close to us to address the issues in our life because they are sometimes the only people we will allow close enough to share our wounded hearts.

Joyce Meyer who experienced abuse from her father tells people how God brought her husband Dave into her life. Because of her past, Joyce’s thinking about men was so messed up that she made life a living misery for her husband.

She shares how her husband Dave Meyer used to sit in the car and cry, asking God for help. Because Joyce allowed God to work in her life, – and allowed herself to be open to and value Dave’s input, she is now being used by God around the world to help others suffering from similiar problems.

“Many times God will send you what you need in a package you don’t want” – John Bevere

It is just too easy to reject the package, – that person (or that group of people) that God puts in our lives to address the issues in our life.

Often ‘self’ will come alive and our ego’s will kick into gear. Their input opens up our festering wound, – and if we are not careful, we see their input – something intended in love, – as control – and we feel insulted.

Joyce Meyer in her audio series ‘co-dependancy’ speaks of how her husband Dave addressed some of the issues in her life:

“He established a relationship with me for several years where I ruled the roost and I was the controller and we did pretty much whatever it took to keep me happy. And then God began to tell him you’ve got to start confronting her. You gotta rise up and be the head of your home. You can’t spend your life trying to keep her happy. Thats when he told me:” I found out I’m not gonna keep you happy anyway, so I’m done trying” And Dave started confronting me. He started saying no. And he started saying “I don’t want to” and “I’m not going too”. And he started telling me to be quiet. And He started telling me “I don’t want you doing that.” “…and my little flesh had a fit”…

In the bible Jesus – God himself – could not do any mighty work in his home town because the people there did not value him as somebody God had sent into their lives (Mark 6).

They instead probably saw Him as somebody they used to play ball games with, go to school with, – perhaps He was ‘that scrawny carpenters son’ that lived down the street. Instead of valuing and honoring Him, their lack of faith largely stopped them from experiencing ‘God on earth’, along with His healing and Power.

If we have come from a broken home with divorced parents, or left home in rebellion, God may bring a stable family across our paths to bring us healing – a family that we can interact with, learn to give to, respect and submit to.

If a guy had father wounds, God may bring along another mature man to be that father figure in His life. If a girl had father wounds, maybe God will bring a man (often a boyfriend and future husband) into her life to address those issues.

If a guy had no time for his mother, God may bring a loving woman into his life to give Him an opportunity to reform and learn to value the woman figure in his life.

We need to learn to value those that God sends into our life to teach us lessons – regardless of what the package itself looks like.

Perhaps we are living at home and have a difficult parent that is in our life to address ‘our own’ issues of selfishness.

Even if we do have a messed up, torn package in our lives that satan has destroyed. God can still use what the devil mean’t for evil and bring it around to good – if we have the right attitude about it.

We need to do what the bible says: honor and value them. It will be to our benefit if we do, because we will learn to love imperfect people selflessly.

Perhaps we have a brother or sister in our lives that is difficult to get along with. We now have a prime opportunity – a training ground – to be able to grow into being an easy-going person. When we meet our soul mate they may be far from perfect. Valuing that difficult person – parent or sibling – teaches us to value our soul mate.

Change can be difficult – regardless of who or what God uses to speak into our life. The input into our life may be difficult. It will address the hurt, the wounds, the pride, the selfishness in our lives.

Let’s learn to stick it out in God’s training school till the end and receive all that he has for us!

Just imagine when Joyce Meyer and her husband Dave started experiencing difficulty in their marriage. If Joyce and Dave were convinced the ‘season’ was over in their lives and threw in the towel, – we would not have Joyce and Dave Meyer today – two people that God uses throughout the world.

Too often our well meaning friends or family around us encourage us to go the easy route – the shortcut, instead of the journey that will bring God’s true healing and transformation into our lives.

Lets stick at it until we have experienced God’s fullness of inner healing.

Sometimes God will bring these healing packages into our life for a season. Other times they may be in our life for a lifetime. God will bring them into our life, but it is often up to ‘us’ how long we allow God’s input to stay in our lives. Lets let God decide the seasons, rather than us.

When things get personal, and the muck starts coming out it is easy to give up and move on. All too often we cut the season that God intended short when these packages start to challenge us to greatness, expect too much of us, and the going gets tough. If we really want God’s fullness, its up to ‘God’ to remove them from our lives, not ‘us’.

In her article, ‘Love Means Sacrifice, Not Selfishness’, Joyce Meyer says:

“As long as we’re open to receive, God will continue to teach us every day.”[8]

It is our choice to receive from the packages God put in our life to make us uncomfortable. We can close the door whenever we wish. God is a gentlemen and will never force healing on us.

Lets choose to actively receive His healing with faith and resolve – whatever and whoever that package may be.


[This article is part of the ‘Honor Parents, Value Soul Mate’ series. View other parts of this series and references here.]

[Most names used in stories have been changed to protect identities]

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Non-quoted text is copyright Stephen Ernst, and generously licenced under a Creative Commons Licence.

References and Quotations for this series:

[1] –
[2] –
[3] –
[4] –
[5] –
[6] –
[7] –
[8] – Love Means Sacrifice, Not Selfishness:
[9] – ‘Always Daddy’s Girl’ H. Norman Wright (Ventura, CA: Regal Books, 1989) p. 208
[10] – Two Are Better than One:
[11] – The Datetalk Audio Series with Wolfi Eckleben:
[12] – Wild at Heart by John Eldridge P95,P95
[13] – ‘Captivating’ by Staci and John Eldridge pg 52
[14] – Derek Prince – Husbands and Fathers audio
[15] –
[16] –
[17] –
[18] –
[19] – Eight Specific Reasons Why Christians Suffer:
[20] – God uses nobodies:
[21] – 1 Kings 12
[22] –
[23] – Longing for daddy by Monique Robinson p.37
[24] – ‘Making peace with your father’ by Dr David Stoop p.15
[25] – ‘Making peace with your father’ by Dr David Stoop p.27
[26] – ‘Making peace with your father’ by Dr David Stoop p.35
[27] – ‘Making peace with your father’ by Dr David Stoop p.39
[28] – ‘Making peace with your father’ by Dr David Stoop p.46
[29] – ‘Making peace with your father’ by Dr David Stoop p.33
[30] – ‘Making peace with your father’ by Dr David Stoop p.41
[31] – Teaching True Love to a Sex-at-13 Generation by Eric and Leslie Ludy p.145, 146

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  1. that was an exxxxxxxxcellent article. eeee! it opened my eyes to my role in some people’s lives, and other people’s roles in mine. it also reminded me of how some people are seasonal. thank you very much.

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