Comments on: Emotional Dependency: A Threat To Close Friendships – by Lori Thorkelson

By: John

John — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 13:53:57 +0000

Thank you for this encouraging article.
i am right in the proces of healing and breaking a ( gay) relationship of dependancy.
God has touched my heart a year ago, and He is gradually showing me steps to make, and aspects of my character that need healing.I am supported and have friends that pray for me, i am so gratefull for Gods grace that i can be His child. I want to reach out for being the person God wants me to be, with His help. Thanks this article comes in exactly the right moment in my life and i feel God has brought this under my attention.

By: Cecil

Cecil — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 04:10:28 +0000

I thank God for leading me to your article. I have always been in a heterosexual relationship and recently I found myself in a same-sex relationship. Its been only a few months and I find experiences feelings I cant ever remember feeling; getting antsy when I dont get a call and being irritable for the entire day when they make no contact. I’m thankful that it hasnt gotten to bad yet and I can hopefully find the strength to pull myself away.
Thank you so much for the information in this article. It puts alot of my feelings into perspective.

Thanks again Lori. And may God continue to bless you.

By: Robert

Robert — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 08:49:44 +0000

Okay guys. Here I go.

By: Confused

Confused — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 22:11:47 +0000

Wow, thank you for caring so much, I couldn’t find this website for ages, and lo & behold, tonight, here it is & your reply which is oh so timely. You are so right, and yes, I have considered moving, as I don’t really have anything keeping me where I am at the mo’ anyway……. yes, we are still in contact, thought thankfully have not been alone with him since we had a chat to end it 2 months ago…. however, we still see each other at church & text or chat online…… it really is an emotional struggle, especially when he keeps telling me how much he wants me (not meaning to sound like I think anything of myself, just tellin the facts :/ )…… you’ve no idea how much I’ve been thinking of moving recently!!!! Coupled with feelings of depression which I’ve been having for months anyway, this emotional situation really is not helping my life. It’s so true, it is such a time stealer as I think about him a lot…… I am finding it hard to really truly believe God has better things for me, so please pray I will believe Him fully and move into the blessings He surely must have for me, Jeremiah 29 v 11 keeps coming up. Well done on moving away yourself & I pray you will also find peace……. thank you again.

By: Nina Ging

Nina Ging — Sat, 24 Apr 2010 20:58:11 +0000

Dear confnused..Not sure where you are at right now with this relationship but I have a feeling you are probably still involved with this man. I know how draining and lonely it is to finally make the step to let go and move on becasue Iam going through that right now…after 3 long years of living in this web I finally moved (I must have let go like 50 times while living in the same state only to find myself always going bac)…to the other side of the world..literally…beleive it or not its still a stuggle but iam closer today to freedom than i was yesterday….this person still sought me…prob spoke with this person about 5 times since i have been here ( only few months)…..i am at the point where iam closer than ever to 0 communication….the pain is ridiculous and I vow not to communcate any more but at least i know im on my way to freedom from this. if you dont do something drastic the devil will continue to steal your time and all the blessings God has for you. I say do something drastic to see drastic results…..you have already been thinking about moving..this is your confirmation….if you continue…you will become sexually intimate and may become pregnant and then everything becomes a lot more complicated…wherever it leads to I know it will be disastrous…get out now..you already know its wrong and it can only get worse unless you make your move….Iam praying for you…i know its a hard decision ..it took me 3 years to finally do it….I pray you flee and never look back….make it happen….greatrer is He that is in you than he who is in the world…God will make it happpen as long as your willing..Okay..when I count to three..start packing ..ready..1….2….3…GOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By: ttuprayerwarrior

ttuprayerwarrior — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 05:06:40 +0000

It is very comforting to know others have gone through this as well, though I’m so sorry for the pain I well know it brings. This has been the hardest struggle of my life so far. I realized that I was emotionally dependent on my best friend last fall, or rather he realized it and basically broke all contact with me. We had been best friends for years, and practically had the same friend groups and schedules. It was agony still having to see him at social events and knowing things were so screwed up and me a mess inside.

But God also met me in such a huge way through those struggles. He taught me I am good enough on my own, without any other relationship to define me, and just how much He loves that person, brokenness and all. It’s still not easy to desire God more than that friendship, and sometimes it throws me into despair to think back on how great things used to be between us. But I know no matter what, the God I know is bigger than my despair, and He will get me through those periods to the ones where He is all I can see and life is beautiful.

So as one who has been through it, and very recently, don’t give up, there is light at the end of this tunnel. God is good, and He has good plans for us all.

By: Confused

Confused — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 02:11:34 +0000

Hi Stephen, I haven’t checked if anyone had replied til tonight, thank you so much, and yes, you’re right…but I don’t want to hear that! :/ We had a tearful (on my part) chat last week about how we can’t continue this, however, he still sends messages, etc, and we go to the same church, so it’s impossible to never see him again unless I move away (which may sound dramatic, but maybe necessary) Plus he still wants to see me from time to time for a chat…. Basically I know I need to sort myself out and give my heart to God completely…. easier said than done though. I do still feel quite emotionally attached to this man, and it really doesn’t help that he keeps paying me attention even though we’ve said we’re stopping the kissing, etc. I know I’ve just been wanting to cling onto someone, that’s partly why I find it difficult in letting him go.

On the plus side, I’ve been finding afresh the reality of God’s forgiveness, it’s like it’s never really sunk in properly before. I still have issues though with “feeling forgiven” if that makes sense.

Thank you SO much for your prayers, I don’t know what else to say, as you can see, I’m still “confused” in many ways…….pray for God to untangle me, I guess….and maybe pray that this man is confronted with God in all this too, he’s had a bit of a rough patch in his life too, he’s a lot older than me…. but we’ve clearly both dealt with our issues in the wrong ways…….

Praise be to Him who gives us the victory through Christ…..even though we don’t deserve it….

By: Stephen

Stephen — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 22:43:25 +0000

Hi ‘Confused’

The best thing you can do is cut off all contact immediatly with the guy. I know it will not be easy, but it is so necessary. This will allow you distance and emotions will subside. It is a matter of your will power with God’s strength. I will pray for you.

Also, get into some good bible teaching, like here…. http://www.ibethel.tv and http://www.awmi.net/extra/audio

God bless….

Stephen

By: Confused

Confused — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 00:42:06 +0000

I’ve been running away from labelling how I’m feeling as “emotional dependency”, but I realise it is. The problem is, if I’m honest, a huge part of me doesn’t want to let go. But thankfully there is a part of me that does. I have become attached to a married man, and it’s killing me. It’s totally wrecking my relationship with God and I know it. He pays me compliments & has told me he loves me, and what started off as just that has turned into an emotional relationship, and dare I say it, physical too – thankfully we have not slept together, but are on the road there. It really scares me how subtle it all is & how easy it is to get into something like this. If anyone is reading this & feels like praying for me, I’d really appreciate that. I’m completely turned inside out, and my life hasn’t been great recently anyway, which has left me vulnerable and primed for such a situation. I believe I may need to move away in order to help me overcome this. Pray I will be strong, cos as I say, part of me does not want to sort this!! It’s so difficult. With God’s grace, though, nothing is impossible, what an amazing God we have….

By: Joe

Joe — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 21:08:36 +0000

Always pray and always work. As the monks say: Ora et labora. Work and pray. You have to try your hardest to seek wisdom, wise counsel, and search the scriptures for direction and all the while pray for the grace of God.

When I was 18 I found this label and it crushed me. It was a year before I finally got out and even after that it was easy to repeat my mistakes but I have to trust God everyday to protect me from it ever happening again. I work hard to be godly and depend on God the same way I used to depend on others. Always spend time with him, need him every moment of the day, trust him for security and protection, and be ultimately satisfied with his great love.

Another good book that touches this issue is St. Augustine’s Confessions (Confessions of Augustine). He struggled in a similar way though not in a homosexual manor.