In fairy tales a princess kisses a frog, and it becomes a prince. But in reality, kissing a slimy, warty, green frog won’t deliver a prince. And even kissing the wrong kinds of guys (aka frogs) won’t get you a good husband.

When it comes to romance, the choices you make now will affect your life. Satan knows that if you believe his lies, you’ll make wrong choices that will result in a disappointing and empty marriage. Unless you recognize and replace the lies he tells you with truth, you’ll miss the awesome marriage that God has planned for your future, and you might settle for a frog.

Fairy-tale Lies

Storybook endings are where we first heard lies about romance, when we were assured of a happily-ever- after in this life. These predictable stories portray a beautiful princess who needs rescuing and a charming, handsome and brave prince (who is sometimes a warty frog waiting for a magical kiss). The stories usually include a castle, a gallant horse, a villain, and a fairy godmother or wise mentor.

The prince and princess meet by a stroke of fate and fall in love without considering faith, values, cultural background or emotional baggage. There’s no time to develop a lasting commitment, trust and unconditional love. The success of their relationship is entirely built on outward beauty and status.

Hollywood Lies

A few years later, we turn to movies for romantic definition. The story is basically the same. She is still beautiful and needs rescuing, only she has a sexier tone in her style of dress and behavior. He is still charming, handsome and ready to rescue his beauty from some life difficulty. Meeting again by a stroke of fate, they fall into what appears to be a lasting, passionate love that will surpass the test of time without struggle or hard work.

The mystery and intrigue are heightened by the romantic background music. And the grand ballroom has been traded for the grand bedroom where they spend their first night together. There are no sexually transmitted infections to contend with, no unplanned pregnancies. She is never on her period, and the two are never clumsy or inexperienced in their sexual activities.

There are no wicked stepmothers, unless you consider parents who are portrayed as goofy, overbearing or too busy to pay attention to their kids. The castle has been traded in for a Hollywood-style mansion, and the horse is now a Mustang convertible. The success of the relationship is still built on outward beauty, status and sex appeal.

Typical Adult Reality

Fast-forward a few years. There’s no fairy godmother, no horse or sports car, and no castle or Beverly Hills mansion, but there are lots of frogs that never turn into Prince Charming, even after many kisses and possibly sexual compromise.

The now grown-up girl considers settling for the least warty frog she can find. Maybe he’ll change over time, she hopes. When she does find a man, they have to deal with communication difficulties, disappointed expectations, unresolved hurt feelings, spiritual differences, sexual history, emotional baggage and insecurities. They discover that real life has zits, bad hair days, receding hairlines and not enough money to buy the latest trends.

The giddy, can’t-stand-to-be-without-you feelings from early in the relationship have vanished, leaving behind emotional distance and loathsome feelings. Why can’t they maintain mystery and passion like they had at first — like in the movies?

Godly Romance

Fairy tales and Hollywood movies cause us to long for these stories in reality. We can spend our lives looking for something (or someone) that doesn’t exist, while making mistakes trying to find it.

Here is the problem: You can’t follow the world’s pattern for relationships and get a good result. If you’re going to marry some day, God wants something better for you than a frog; He wants you to marry a man after His own heart. That means you need to set yourself apart from the dating and sexual standards of this world to wait for that special person. If you marry someone who loves Jesus with all his heart, your relationship will be built on a solid and lasting foundation. Your godly husband won’t be perfect, but he will seek to consistently love you with God’s love and put you before himself. He’ll try to be the best husband possible because he lives to please God. Compared to the shallow and empty things that Hollywood and fairy tales offer, real love is a little bit of heaven on earth.

Happily Ever After

Many lies that Satan uses are a twist of something that’s true. There really will be a happy ending in your future if you’ve put your faith in Jesus for salvation. The Bible says that someday Jesus will return to rescue you from all the hurts and disappointments of this world and take you to His kingdom of gold streets and precious gems galore to be His bride (Revelation 19, 21). You really will live in never-ending bliss, continuing mystery and passion with your one and only Savior and real Prince.

Finding Your Prince

Pray for guidance. Ask God to help you become wise, discerning and ready to meet your future mate.
Avoid frogs. Spend quality time around committed Christian guys.
Make friends. Until God gives you the go-ahead for a romantic relationship, focus on friendships with guys.
Practice patience. Don’t settle prematurely for a frog; God has a special plan for your future.
Pursue purity. Think about your future as you seek to be pure in words and actions.
Observe. Look for signs of a guy’s character to know how he will treat his future mate.

Reprinted with permission of Julie Ferwerda

Visit Julie Ferweda’s Web site at www.julieferwerda.com

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