They just can’t love?!: The myth and the reality


Honor Parents, Value Soul Mate

[This article is part of the ‘Honor Parents, Value Soulmate’ series. View other parts of this series here.]

  • I have heard it said before that some people don’t know how to love their soul mate.
  • I have also heard it said that some people just go a lot deeper than others.

The first statement is true – some people do not ‘know’ how to love deeply. The second is false – God made everyone with emotions to love that go deep down. God intended us to selflessly love, commit and sell themselves out for their soul mate. He wants people to throw everything to the wind and pursue a whirlwind romance that He has for them.

The reason why some people do not know how to love is because there is a devil in this world that tries to take that perfect love that God intended and warp it through our background and our thinking. He has been around a lot time and knows how to use mistakes of our parents, or our own selfishness and rebellion, – to wreck closeness in relationships that God intended.

Mental walls that block our soul mate out

When we have been wounded, selfish or rebellious, we can build mindsets, – walls in our thinking that we consider normal, walls that are hidden to us, – walls that block us from receiving and giving love in the way God designed. We don’t allow our soul mate to cross these walls, – they block out the perfection of romantic, selfless love that God designed for us to enjoy.

How we think today is a result of the way we have trained our minds to think over many years. If the devil can continue to make us think wrongly, he will cause us to sabotage every meaningful relationship that God brings across our path.

We cannot let our past rebellion, selfishness, or the father and mother wounds in our lives stop us from experiencing all the blessing of love and romance that Jesus died to give us.

Remember that we are God’s prized possessions – extra special to Him. Satan will use parents mistakes or our own rebellious and selfish actions to block us from experiencing the promised land that God has for us.

Take hold of the promise

If we have given our life over to Jesus, just like the Israelites in the bible we have been ‘brought out of Egypt’, but Satan will try to make us ‘die in the wilderness’, – instead of entering in and experiencing the ‘promised land’ that God intended.

That promised land is truly a land of milk and honey – the very best that God life could dream up for us… a life of light hearted romance, joy, – and productivity for God’s kingdom alongside our soul mate…

The only thing stopping us… is us!

You or those you are close to may think that you don’t know how to love. I know a Jesus that came to heal, restore and make you totally new and fresh. God can teach you to love selflessly and without reservation. You can be totally generous, crazy, and sold out for your future mate, but God requires something from you to work with – your faith, resolve and action.

The words resound in my mind: Honour (value) your father and mother so that it may be well with you.

It is never too late to start honoring our parents. We can’t change our past, but we can change the future with some simple actions. And with what Jesus did for us, – we can be a totally new person – and start life with a clean slate, not hindered by the past. Let’s take advantage of it!


[This article is part of the ‘Honor Parents, Value Soul Mate’ series. View other parts of this series and references here.]

[Most names used in stories have been changed to protect identities]

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Non-quoted text is copyright Stephen Ernst, and generously licenced under a Creative Commons Licence.

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