We learn how to commit and love by practicing with our family


Honor Parents, Value Soul Mate

[This article is part of the ‘Honor Parents, Value Soulmate’ series. View other parts of this series here.]

If you are a guy, your mother may have said: “Johnny, be sure to look out for a girl that relates well to her dad, because that’s how she will treat you one day if you marry her.”

If you are a girl, she may have said: “Suzy, marry a boy who treats his mom like gold. That is the way he will treat you one day.”

Time and time again, I have seen examples of people who do not place value one or more of their parents. They will generally find it difficult to place value on those that they have relationships with, – people who represent those parents. On the other hand there are examples of people who cherish their parents, – and they in turn cherish and go overboard for those people (who represent their parents) in future relationships.

For example if a guy takes care of his mom, when he meets that special soul mate, he will take care of her. If a girl highly prizes her father, she will generally prize the man that God brings into her life.

If we got annoyed quickly with our parents we should not be surprised at all when we get annoyed with that man or woman that we asked God to put into our life. If we had no time for our parents, considered them a nuisance, or were rebellious to them, lets not fool ourselves in thinking we will act any different to our future soul mate.

Family is special nest created by God. It exists to nurture us, comfort us and to challenge us to greatness. I am convinced that as a rule, if a boy grows up as ‘mommies boy’ or a girl grows up as ‘daddies girl’, that is the way they will try to treat their future mate. As a backup, God often places older brothers and sisters in our lives who can, – to an extent, take the place of a mother or father in our lives if our parents are absent.

Dr David Stoop says of the teen years:

“The parent will affirm them in their own developing manliness and womanliness and will show them how to relate to other people of the opposite sex.” [30]

BE ENCOURAGED! BE INSPIRED! If you were never ‘mommies boy’, or ‘daddies girl’, be encouraged! Christ has the best in store for you, waiting for you to take hold of the best years of your life. Love, intimacy, companionship, commitment and romance are all in reach if we will allow Jesus into those walled gardens of our life.

Let’s face it – no family is perfect. In fact most parents (and kids) are pretty dysfunctional in one way or another, but that is the way God gives us the opportunities to love the unlovable, to respect the un-respectable, to be patient with those who test our patience, to defy common culture and to do good to those that wound us.


[This article is part of the ‘Honor Parents, Value Soul Mate’ series. View other parts of this series and references here.]

[Most names used in stories have been changed to protect identities]

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