Self-Injury:
Part 2 - Powerful
Steps to Overcoming Cutting
Jose
Cano, Counselor, Teen Mania's Honor Academy
1.
One must acknowledge Christ as our primary source of
help through:
Prayer
Word Study and Meditation
(See “Who You Are in Christ” References)
Church
Fellowship
2.
One
must
decide
to
Change
their
way
of
coping.
Unless
God
does
a
miracle,
it
would
be
unrealistic
to
expect
the
person
to
change
their
habit
from
one
day
to
the
next.
God
is
well
able
and
powerful
enough
to
do
so
if
he
wants
to,
but
there
are
times
where
he
chooses
to
take
a
person
through
the
process of
change.
One
thing
is
certain
according
to
Romans
6:18,
he
has
set
us
free.
The
problem
is
we
have
allowed
the
circumstances
of
our
environment
(problems)
to
take
control
of
our
minds
and
we
begin
to
live
life
through
our
feelings,
instead of
the
spirit
God
has
put
in
us.
But,
it
is
not
unrealistic
to
say
that
one
CAN
change.
3.
One must decide to be honest with someone trustworthy.
Talk to them and set accountability. If you go to someone
and talk about the urge, it will help you reduce the distress
you may be experiencing at the moment. Therefore, begin to
build a network of godly friends that you can be honest with.
They will support you during the difficult times. Above all,
know that God is always there for you.
4.
One
must
set
up
Accountability.
As
you are building your network of friends, you will need to
help them help you by instructing them on what you expect
from them and how they can be of support to you. If you only
want them to lend a listening ear to help you process what
you are thinking and feeling, then you will have to let them
know. If you want them to ask you specific questions when
they see you, then tell them what questions you want them
to ask. If you want them to pray for you, simply request
it. If in the beginning of your new decision to walk in freedom
you need someone to be with you during the moments of temptation, you
will need to let them know in advance so they can know what
to expect and how to help.
(But
remember, this is a battle only you can fight and win with
the help of Christ. We can have friends that will help
us with emotional support, but you should not place all
your dependency on them. Your full dependency should be
on Christ alone. The body of Christ is available for us
to pray with, confide in, and fellowship with, but remind
yourself they are not your Savior, Jesus is. They are there
to support and help you through this difficult time in
life.)
5.
One must put new skills into Practice
In
the past, whenever you felt the overwhelming sense of life’s
problems, you may have dealt with them through cutting.
But, if you want to stop hurting yourself, it will be vital
for you to start practicing new coping skills to overcome
the urge to injure yourself.
Below
is a list of suggestions that might help you to overcome
that urge. Please be advised that not all of these suggestions
will be helpful to everyone, as not all battles will be
the same. So, what is helpful to one person may not necessarily
be helpful to someone else.
Review
the options with your accountability partner or support
team and discuss which ones are helpful to you. As you
go through the list and you identify that one of the suggestions
actually tempts you rather than help you, then do NOT use
that suggestion. Keep in mind that these are only suggestions.
Ask the Lord to help you through this process and ask him
for supernatural wisdom to help you come up with your own
new practices that will help you overcome during temptations.
The more you say no to
the desires
of the flesh, the more you will be satisfied with life
through the spirit of God living in you.
During
times of Temptation:
Go
after your memory verse and read it. It’s time to meditate.
Practice deep breathing (inhale a big breath, and exhale
ten times).
Try relaxation techniques by tensing up your body muscles
for 8 seconds, then relaxing them for 15. Repeat the exercise
in group rotations (legs, arms, upper body). You gain the
most of this technique when you incorporate it with your
scripture meditation.
Call a friend, your therapist or a crisis line for help.
Try not be alone when you are fighting an urge (visit a
friend, go shopping, etc.).
Take a hot bath to help you relax.
Listen to music that you enjoy or relaxes you.
Go for a walk (leave any objects behind).
Write in a journal. (Express your anger, anxiety, stress,
etc. Explore for your trigger points. Ask the Lord to reveal
to you what is causing you to be tempted to bring harm
to yourself.)
Exercise for at least 20 minutes (run, fast-walk, aerobic
or anaerobic exercises).
Avoid temptation (i.e. avoiding the area where cutting
objects are kept, etc.).
If the temptation is coming at you due to emotional conflict
with someone, challenge yourself to approach them in a
healthy way making your own feelings known instead of keeping
them inside. Ask if they have time to talk and let them
know what troubled you and how things can improve.
Yell into a pillow how you feel, but
follow up with scriptures from the “Who you are in
Christ”
list to speak to your inner-man. Remember, we are not
to be ruled by our feelings, we must rule our feelings
with the Word of Truth.
Go outside and practice breathing technique (10 big
breaths, inhale/exhale).
Take up a sport (a form of exercise can help you release
tension, etc.).
Work with paint, clay, play-doh, etc. and try to make
a sculpture of the tension you are experiencing. It
can help you put your words together and give you some
idea of what might be the cause of the underlying pain.
Once revealed to you, surrender them to the Lord and
go the His Word for the truth.
Draw a picture of what or who is making you angry,
then pray over that situation and begin to walk towards
forgiveness.
Instead of harming yourself, remind yourself that you
are God’s temple and He esteems you, therefore
you deserve to treat yourself and your body with love
and respect. (Speak God’s Word over yourself!)
Go to church for worship or fellowship with others.
Break the object that you use to self-injure as a way
to show that you have control over it and it does not
have control over you.
If
you
find
unforgiveness
or
hidden
anger
towards
someone
that hurt you a great deal, try writing a letter to
the person(s) and express how they made you feel and
how they affected your life, but that you choose to
forgive them. These letters do not have to be in perfect
form and you do not have to cover your hurt, but express
it in writing. You do not have to give these letters
to the people, but it is a great way to release the
feelings that you have been carrying within. After
you write the letters, you can decide then what to
do with them. Some people find destroying the letters
help (i.e. tear them up, throw them in a lake, bury
the letter, burn it, etc.). But, it is important that
before you destroy it, you go before the Lord in prayer
and present the letter(s) to him as an act of surrendering
all unforgiveness to him and declaring your new choice
to forgive, daily.
Do some household chores (i.e. cleaning, work on
the yard, wash your car or someone else’s, etc.)
to get your mind off of the urges till the waves of
temptation goes away. Remind yourself that the moment
is like a wave, it will come, but it will also pass.
Just hold on through the temptation.
Do some cooking or baking (be creative with it,
invite some friends over and fellowship).
Recite a poem, prayer or anything else familiar
that comforts you, multiple times.
Write down all your positive points and why you
do not deserve to be hurt. Remind yourself what
the Word of God says about you (see Scripture
reference sheet).
Write
in
your
journal
why
you
want
to
hurt
yourself
and
if
you
have
hurt
yourself,
write
down
what
caused
it
to
happen
so
in
the
future
you
can
prevent
it
from
happening
again.
(Remember,
find
out
what
your
triggers
points
are.
Where
and
how
does
the
enemy
trick
you
into
falling? What
thoughts
or
mental
whispers
do
you
hear
during
these
times
of
temptation?
Write
them
down
and
you’ll
begin
to
see
the
strategy
the
enemy
uses
against
you.)
Scripture
meditation. Memorize the Word
of God (see scripture hand-out).
Allow
yourself to cry. Getting the
tears out can promote healing.
It allows the inside to release,
as opposed to self-abuse. Picture
your "hurts" pouring
out as you cry before the Lord.
Take
a shower.
Sing
a song or write out what you
are feeling as a prayer to God.
Let the words just come out of
you. The book of Psalms has plenty
of examples.
Make
a list of reasons why you are
going to stop cutting. Every
time you get the urge, read
the list to remind yourself why
you shouldn't. Also remember
to put on that list that you
do not deserve to hurt yourself.
You are important, significant,
and you do not deserve to be
hurt.
Sometimes,
even
when
you
try
your
new
skills,
it
may
still
feel
like
you
are
not
advancing.
These
moments
of
desperation
are
understandable
and
not
uncommon.
But
you
must
remember
that
God
is
faithful
to
His
Word
and
that
you
must
continue
to
stand
up
and
try
again,
no
matter
what.
The key
is
to
immediately
stand
up
after
a “fall”
and
try again. They temptations will
come and go. The more you deny
the temptation, the easier it
will become to say “no” because
the stronger you are becoming
in saying
“yes” to
your freedom and your
new way of life.
The
Bible
tells
us
that
we
must
resist
the
devil
and
he
will
flee!
But,
as
you
may
already
know,
it
seems
the
devil
will
try
to
come
back
and
try
to
tempt
you
again
later.
It’s
during
these
times
of
temptations
that
the
fight
may
feel
overwhelming.
Don’t
give
up!
Run
to
God,
share
with
your
support
system,
and
continue
to
put
on
the “new
man” and
try
again.
You
will
overcome
because
you
already
are
an
over-comer
through
Jesus
Christ.
Remember,
God’s
help
and
grace
is
there to
help
you
overcome
your
greatest
temptation.
Now,
it’s
also
important
to
take
advantage
of
these
moments
to
focus
on
what
pain
your
heart
is
feeling.
The
following
questions
may
be
of
help
for
you
as
you
begin
to
allow
the
Lord
to
search
your
heart
and
identify
the
root
of
the
problem.
Take
time
to
answer
them
honestly
to yourself.
No
one
has
to
see
your
answers
unless
you
want
to
discuss
them
with
someone
for
feedback.
Do
not
allow
the “urge” to
control
you,
before
you
explore
the
urge. Answer
the
following
questions
to
help
you
investigate
what
is
going
on
internally.
Is
there
a
deeper
root
you
are
trying
to
deal
with?
It’s
important
for
you
to
think
about
what
your
urge
to
hurt
yourself
is "saying" about
your
feelings
and
your
life.
This
will
give
you
clues
about
problems
you
need
to
face
and
work
on.
Eventually,
it
will
be
most
beneficial
for
you
to
find
a
friend
you
can
trust
and
share
your
deep
thoughts
with
them
about
this
internal
struggle
and
what
root
lies
behind
it.
You can
also
seek
out
the
help
of
a
professional
counselor
to
help
you
process
these
questions.
Starting
with
the
Basics
Have
I
put
my “new
skills” into
practice
faithfully?
Why
do
I
feel
I
need
to
hurt
myself?
What
has
brought
me
to
this
point?
Have
I
been
here
before?
What
did
I
do
to
deal
with
it?
How
did
I
feel
then?
What
have I done to ease this discomfort
so far? What else can I do
that won't hurt me?
What
word(s) would I use to describe
the feeling(s) I
am experiencing right now?
What
do
I tell
myself
or
what
do
I
hear
my
mind
telling
me
during
these
times
of
struggle?
What
am I trying to say through
my wounds?
What
does the pain I inflict on
the outside say about the pain
I feel in the inside?
How
do I feel about myself right
now?
How
will I feel when I am hurting
myself? (satisfied, angry,
pleasure, guilty, etc.)
How
will I feel after I hurt myself?
(satisfied, angry, pleasure,
guilty, etc.) Was it worth
it?
How
will I feel tomorrow morning?
(satisfied, angry, pleasure,
guilty, etc.)
How
can I avoid this stressor or
deal with it better in the
future?
Do
I really need to hurt myself
or is there something different
I could have done to deal with
my emotional pain?
How
close or distant do I feel
God before I hurt myself?
How
close or distant do I feel
God after I hurt myself?
What
do I think Jesus feels about
me hurting myself?
What
does he want me to remember
during my times of temptation?
How
will I feel if I don’t
resist the temptation?
How
will I feel if I actually overcome
this wave of temptation?
This
series
will
be
concluded
with “Self
Injury
Part
Three:
For
Those
Desiring
to
Help,” featuring
what
you
can
do
to
help
and “Who
Am
I
in
Christ” Scriptures.
Related articles:
Self-Injury
Part One: What Is Cutting All About?
Self-Injury
Part Two: Steps to Overcome “Cutting”
Self-Injury
Part Three: For Those Desiring to Help
Self Harm - A Testimony and Audio
Resources
References/Bibliography
http://www.self-injury.org/
www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html
www.users.zetnet.co.uk/BCSW/leaflets/womensa.htm
“Mirror,
Mirror” by
Colleen Thompson (1996)
“The
Final
Freedom” by
Doug
Weiss
(1998)
“Hypnosis
With
Self-Cutters” article
by
Malon
and
Berardi
(1987)
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are
welcome
to
republish
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article
once
you
include
the
following
text
and
link
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